Last week, the full moon brought all kinds of wacky things. My work in the office was insane. I was constantly busy and seemed to barely get things completed. Remember last week when I mentioned I always thought I was type-A, but maybe it was self-imposed? Well, I worked 9 hours on Tuesday and just decided what wasn’t done could wait. Who is this person walking away with things undone? Why on earth did I think I could leave something open? Well, honestly, I’m practicing self-care and a work-life balance. So I left it and it was waiting for me the next morning. No big deal.
On Tuesday morning, I woke up early. Like, too early. I had decided I would get up and put on my apple watch. Still, I laid there. I tossed and turned for an hour and a half before I finally went back to sleep. And I was sleeping hard at 5:55 when the alarm went off and my arm felt like it would vibrate off my body. That watch gives quite a buzz. And I was still tired. I knew I needed to get up and get myself going. Most especially….. to get motivated!
I’ve been reading again (finally). As part of my reinvention, I decided to read Rachel Hollis’ new book, Girl, Stop Apologizing. I am going to say this now, because I am 49 years old: I feel a little old to be reading this book. She isn’t telling me anything I don’t already know. I’m about a decade and a half ahead of her in life. What I have found is that when I was her age….I wasn’t listening–to myself or anyone, really. So my age may be ahead of her, but I am years behind where I truly want to be. Today, I am listening. I’m more than middle-aged and I’m tired of wasting more time doing things I no longer want to do.
This epiphany hit me like a ton of bricks. I wrote three and a half pages in my journal that morning. And sticking out to me was that my true passion. The creative drive in me is writing. It’s what I am known for in my office. As an aside, I am a senior operations analyst at Ralph Lauren. I have developed all of our team Standard Operating Procedures because…imagine this….I have a gift of writing. Sure, I’ve dreamed of writing a book. I’ve dreamed of writing a screen play, but I am not formally educated to write….professionally. And for my entire life, I have just told myself that I’m not qualified. I’m not enough. I don’t have time. I won’t be good at it. People will make fun of me. There are others that are better than me. And the list goes on….every excuse in the book.
So, to get myself moving in the direction of my soul’s desire, I will begin transitioning my blog and my website to more about the Art of Living. You will still find my creative endeavors here, but you’ll also find more of me. Because, really….if not now, when? Thanks Rachel. It’s now.
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